看图作文在英语作文中是大家普遍缺乏练习的一种类型，一个提高的方式就是看范例和点评，针对其中的错误进行自我修正。
招聘条件：
写作原文
The undergraduate, who is on his way to a job interview, is stunned after hearing a ridiculous condition: the position is only for the man born in the year of dog. More ironically, a dog is eager to try. Conspicuously, that is a horrible depiction concerning the discrimination in job market. Over the past years, all kinds of discriminations(改为discrimination，它是一个不可数名词) have (has) been condemned or made illegal, but one insidious form continue to thrive: some harsh conditions some employers imposed when recruit new,(句子成分不清，建议改为some harsh conditions are imposed on the employers when a company recruit new) ranging from height to household registration. So, what cause(改为causes) these problems? Firstly, thetremendous number of graduates- still mounting each year- make organizations powerless to screen out right candidates. (本句话说服力不够强) For which(改为this) reason, numerous bizarre approaches have come out to find the right person. Moreover, the current state of affairs may have been encouraged by lack of severe penalty and punishment to those arrogant organizations who(改为which) shrink the obligation of selecting eligible staff. A good case in point is one of my roommates, with excellent performance in the job interview, failed to obtain the occupation(本句话可改为who performs excellently in the job interview, but fails to obtain the occupation，若要按作者的写法，应该在failed之前加but，用来连接两个简单句，且将failed改为fail) as a consequence of inadequate height.The clear message is that we should get moving to launch a war against those irresponsible companies. Just as rejecting those duty-shrinking corporations, making complaint to administrator as long as we meet this situation.(整句话没有谓语动词，且administrator使用不当，本句话可改为：To reject the duty-shrinking corporations, we should report the situation to the relevant authorities) More significantly, the authorities should charge with the obligation of laying down associate-effective discipline which seems appropriate in the light of current situation. By these methods, we will surely get through this tough period before long.
本科还未毕业生，在他去面试的是谁，是震惊，听完一个可笑的条件：位置是只为人出世在狗年。更讽刺的是，狗是渴望尝试。显然，这是关于就业市场的歧视可怕的描述。在过去的几年中，各种歧视谴责或被定为非法，但一个阴险的形式继续发展：一些苛刻的条件，一些雇主施加时招新，从身高户籍。所以，是什么原因造成这些问题呢？首先，毕业生人数仍安装-巨大每年使组织无力筛选合适的候选人。因为这个原因，许多奇怪的方法来寻找合适的人。此外，目前的状况可能受到严厉的处罚，处罚缺乏鼓励那些自大的组织收缩选择合格人员的义务。一个很好的例子是我的一个室友，在求职面试中的出色表现，未能获得职业作为一种高度不足的后果。这是一个明确的信息：我们应当着手发动一场战争反对那些不负责任的公司。正如拒绝那些责任萎缩的公司，使投诉管理员只要我们遇到这样的情况。更重要的是，当局应该负责制定有效的学科关联现状的光似乎适当的义务。通过这些方法，我们一定会度过这个艰难的时期。
总体点评
文章结构完整，符合考研写作的要求。但是美中不足的是，作者在选词方面不够精确，句子表达方面也有所欠缺。望作者在以后的写作中，应该注重句子的组成，并选用强有力的论据来支撑自己的观点;应该多积累经典词句，练习模仿句子，一周练习两篇作文即可。其余时间可强化自己的基础知识，锻炼自己的语言组织能力。
参考分数(满分20分)：12
英语写作水平的提升需要不断地练习，在改正错误中不断取得进步，不怕犯错误，怕明知道犯错误却不面对。看了范文和点评，希望大家有思考，有提高。